self-esteem sunday

this past sunday the theme in sacrament meeting was "women should feel good about themselves". we had 2 talks on feeling God's love and 1 on the divine role of women. i am impressed with our progressive bishopric for even thinking to assign a talk about women, but the poor awkward boy they chose to give it made it all the better. he is an 18 year old guy going to GA Tech (all guys at GA Tech have meager social skills at best). he was extremely nervous & it was easy to see that he really did love his mom & sisters and wanted women to feel good about themselves, but just didn't quite know how to get that across.

so he started out talking about "gender equality". i perked up at those words and started poking PC (despite his best efforts to be pro-woman, i am convinced he has sexist feelings toward Hillary Clinton). the guy giving the talk was trying to make the point that men & women should be unified; however, instead of using a scripture like "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1stCor11:11), he busted out with "the head of every woman is the man"(1stCor11:3) .....i'm still not sure how that supports gender equality, but most of the girls in the ward had a good laugh about it later.

he then moved on to modesty. it actually really annoys me that every talk that has anything to do with women always includes modesty. i like to think that womanhood has more complex & relevant issues to discuss that why showing our shoulders is sinful. *sigh*

anyway, at least he had a slightly original take, which was mostly marveling at how girls are so good at altering their clothes to make them modest: "...i mean, you can just add a t-shirt *laughter in the congregation* , um, that is not exactly what i meant, i meant that - well, i know my sisters have a hard time finding modest clothes and they can change clothes and make them modest & the guys should tell the girls they appreciate all the effort the girls do to make their clothes modest because it is hard..." he finished up by talking about how great the women in his family were & how his family would not be as unified without them.

overall, it was a sweet attempt to make girls feel good & i'm glad it was given by such a self-conscious kid. it made it harder for me to be offended :)

has it really come to this?

i went speed dating on monday. what possesssed me to do this? mostly the need to go to costco, which required PC's membership & presence. after costco his car went to FHE & i was still inside it. there was nothing i could do. stupid tasty dried fruit mix....

the beat goes on

last sunday the bishop gave me a new calling. while he had me trapped in his office, he said, "you know, you are going to have to get married eventually". i mumbled some non-committal like "heh, yeah, maybe..." & he dropped it. in retrospect i should have said, "hey, i'm not opposed to it, but have you seen the options in this ward? no thanks for now." this is the 1st time a bishop has informed me that my biological clock is ticking. have i really reached the age where i am so old that i need to start throwing myself at anything with a Y-chromosome in hopes that i can get one to marry me? i don't think so, bishop.

re: ch-ch-ch-changes

a couple months ago i decided to give up swearing. i'm happy to say i've made some progress. i hardly ever swear in front of people anymore. now it is mostly for my own personal benefit. like yesterday i only swore when i was driving in atlanta traffic. and when i forgot something. and when i couldn't steal my roommate's tortillas b/c she hadn't opened them yet. yup, good progress.

you can't stay here with every single hope you have shattered

after my political posts of late, i decided to get back to my favorite topic: my love life, or lack thereof. right after i got back from my mission i met a really hot guy & starting dating him. after a few months i realized i liked him for more than his desire to buy me food & things got pretty serious. about a year ago we started to have problems, all centered around some of his personal issues. eventually our relationship crashed & burned, leaving me utterly devastated. i dealt with my sorrow by pretending like he no longer existed & moving across the country. he would try to contact me about once a month & i never responded. eventually he gave up & i got over him. last time i heard from him it was my birthday & i did email him back then to say i forgave him & have a nice life. i assumed that he was looking for that closure b/c i hadn't heard from him since.

until yesterday when i got a long email going into more detail about why he broke up with me & how much he regretted, as it was perhaps the biggest mistake of his life. he told me all about how he'd been heartbroken for months, how he wished i was still there, and how much he missed me. i really don't know how to deal with this development. is he really having this much trouble moving on or is he trying to manipulate me again? is he saying he wants to get back together or was this email just to give him closure? does he realize it has been almost a year since we've spoken to each other and all his apologies are a bit late in coming?

the one thing that i am happy about is that this is the first time since we broke up that hearing from him hasn't caused me undue anxiety/depression/panic. whatever happens, at least he's lost the bizarre emotional control he had over me for so long. and it only took a year!

i feel like laura linney in "love actually"...

I could write this book

when i get bored in church i amuse myself by analyzing the congregation. in high school i would count the number of mullets (average = 3 per sunday). here in atlanta i count the number of people i actually know (average = 3 per 10 people). in my musing i can't help but notice that some of the young men in the congregation are highly attractive (average = 2 per 50). one such young man is my roommate's fiance's roommate, named BJ. he has the tortured artist look going on (even though he is in law school) & is hilarious. today he came & sat next to me in church. inside, i was thinking "sweet, this guy is freakin hot". outside, i totally ignored him. even though i think he's the hottest guy in the ward, when he actually sits next to me....i don't even talk to him. yes, i am an idiot.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever

The Manorexic showed me a list of the funniest similes collected from true high school English papers. The kids that wrote these are unbelievable - like something that is hard to fathom. Here are a few favorites:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
3. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
6. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
7. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph
8. . He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up
9. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

and my all time favorite:

10. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

Nothing Says Love Like a Children's Chorus

We all know our good buddy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came to visit NYC last month & gave a pretty hilarious speech at Columbia. SNL made an awesome short to commemorate the event. I'm sure NBC will take it down soon so enjoy it while you can.

Wes Anderson Strikes Again

On Saturday night I coerced PC into going to see the new Wes Anderson film, The Darjeeling Limited, with me. It was classic Wes Anderson - bright colours, random events, dysfunctional family, & Owen Wilson. The story follows 3 brothers who go to India on spiritual journey, which they promptly screw up. The plot is generally a bit weak & predictable, but the trite journey analogy is interspersed with a few surprises that give the movie its depth. Of course, the traditional random hilarity is what really made the film. As a dedicated Wes Anderson fan, I loved it. And even though I practically had to cry to get PC to take me & he's probably lost all illusion of my churchiness (i still maintain it was one of the cleanest R-rated films i've ever seen...), it was well worth whatever he spent on it.

Update on My Love Life

So after PC & I had our little chat last week I thought it might be awkward, but it has been surprisingly normal. The day after the talk we hung out a lot till he dropped me off at the metro to go to Canada. While I was in Canada I decided that I am cool with whatever & haven't really gone out of my way to talk to him. Being super sick helped with the apathy since I've really only cared about when I can take another dose of painkillers for the past week. Yesterday I decided that I was going home after school & sleep till Sunday, but PC called and wanted to take me out to eat. I told him in our chat last week that if he kept taking me out every Friday I would start expecting more so I am quite confused as to why he is continuing to do so. I spent most of the date in my drug-induced alternative reality so I'm not sure how it went, but I think I was kinda mean. I do recall telling him I didn't care where we ate as long as I didn't have to talk to him until we got there. I meant b/c my throat was really sore & I didn't want to talk to anyone till I got to take more painkillers, but the explanation sounded a bit lame. Oh well, that's what he gets for sending mixed signals I guess.

Things I Did This Weekend

in chronological order:

1. Talked to a best friend from high school who just got back from Iraq (yay!!)
2. Braved a rock climbing wall (1st time since the big fall)
3. Went to an Emory soccer game (3-1)
4. Ate at a Mexican bar
5. Watched multiple episodes of The Office (hilarious)
6. Decided a certain boy does in fact like me
7. Went hiking with friends
8. Played frisbee in the pool
9. Took a trip to Costco
10. Returned cell phone left at my house (only an extra hour driving in atlanta traffic...)
11. Ate some BBQ (Smokehouse is better)
12. Watched "The Labyrinth"
13. Convinced said boy to be David Bowie for Halloween
14. Decided said boy does not like me
15. Church
16. Nap
17. Talked to multiple friends on the phone
18. Decided maybe said boy likes me
19. Thought about doing homework
20. Wasted time on the internet

conclusion: highly unproductive, but fun