polar bears will do just fine

A recent letter to the editor from my home town's newspaper:

Although the polar bear is a symbol of the liberal deception known as global warming, it is perhaps the least plausible symbol. If all the ice in the Arctic were to melt, the polar bears would still survive long enough to find land since they are mostly aquatic. Those few pictures of polar bears sitting alone on ice floes are due to the quick finger of their photographers, because the next second after it was photographed, the bear most likely jumped off into the sea. Their scientific name translates as "bear of water." They are great swimmers, doing most of their hunting by diving into holes in the ice and killing the seals that happen to be swimming under the ice. They sleep on land most of the time, but if a man can sleep by floating on his back, then a polar bear can. You might assume that they couldn't possibly stay in the water for days on end, but as a matter of fact, the bears' black skin is completely covered with white fur except on their noses. Even the soles of its feet are covered in fur.

But, according to most scientists, the world is warming anyway, and that shouldn't be a problem. It turns out that the only thing a polar bear couldn't do in the water is give birth, because they dig tunnels in the snow to warm their newborn cubs. But, I'm sure the bears could make it to land long before their survival came down to the birth of their cubs.

The Arctic melt is not the fault of mankind. The last time Mount Pinatubo, an active volcano in the Philippines, erupted it emitted more than a thousand times the ozone-depleting chemicals than all the fluorocarbons manufactured by corporations in history. This volcano has been doing this for thousands of years - billions according to the old Earth mindset. Global warming is a natural process that can't be stopped or started by humans. It's egotistical to think that mankind, having been here a short time even by old Earth beliefs, could do as much damage as we are blamed for.


The best part: The guy who wrote this editorial is one of the assistant principles at my little sister's high school. I'm sure she's getting a great education....

thanks to Boy for cutting the letter out & showing it to me