hello, good-bye, higher you fly

i like to travel. this summer, however, i think i reached new highs. in the past 4 months i've flown:
1. Atl to NJ (& back)
2. Atl to London to South Africa to Zambia
3. Zambia to London to NYC to Atl
4. North Carolina to SLC (& back)
5. Atl to DC (& back)

most of my plane rides were safer than this one

total miles flown: 22,437

if this doesn't get me a free ticket to California for winter break, i don't know what will