you tell me that you need me, then you go & cut me down...

luckily, as soon as i started talking to the aforementioned ex-boyfriend, i remembered how manipulative and insecure he could be. when he suggested that we meet in NYC over the break (where we both happened to be going), i was slightly tempted. but, in the end reason won out & i will be hitting up NYC with Boy & no one else. overall, i'm glad i talked to him, but i doubt it will become a habit. i'd rather think about that hot angst-ridden guy i didn't talk to. i sure he doesn't have any emotional issues....

you can't stay here with every single hope you have shattered

after my political posts of late, i decided to get back to my favorite topic: my love life, or lack thereof. right after i got back from my mission i met a really hot guy & starting dating him. after a few months i realized i liked him for more than his desire to buy me food & things got pretty serious. about a year ago we started to have problems, all centered around some of his personal issues. eventually our relationship crashed & burned, leaving me utterly devastated. i dealt with my sorrow by pretending like he no longer existed & moving across the country. he would try to contact me about once a month & i never responded. eventually he gave up & i got over him. last time i heard from him it was my birthday & i did email him back then to say i forgave him & have a nice life. i assumed that he was looking for that closure b/c i hadn't heard from him since.

until yesterday when i got a long email going into more detail about why he broke up with me & how much he regretted, as it was perhaps the biggest mistake of his life. he told me all about how he'd been heartbroken for months, how he wished i was still there, and how much he missed me. i really don't know how to deal with this development. is he really having this much trouble moving on or is he trying to manipulate me again? is he saying he wants to get back together or was this email just to give him closure? does he realize it has been almost a year since we've spoken to each other and all his apologies are a bit late in coming?

the one thing that i am happy about is that this is the first time since we broke up that hearing from him hasn't caused me undue anxiety/depression/panic. whatever happens, at least he's lost the bizarre emotional control he had over me for so long. and it only took a year!

you talk talk talk about it

i usually take public transport to school but i didn't want to buy the pass for december so i've been driving to school lately. i get bored sitting in atlanta traffic so i've started listening to the news shows on the radio. for some reason i can only find ones with extremely conservative commentators (not for lack of trying to find liberals). at first i was annoyed, but then i decided to see what crazy things they said for amusement. i expected the normal "hillary clinton is satan reincarnate", "global warming is a myth", & "the war is going well". as amusing as i find those views, here are a few i wasn't expecting as part of the republican platform:

1. organic food is bad (sorry, Churchgirl, if you like organic food you must be liberal!)
2. PhD's are bad
3. germany (modern, not nazi) is bad
4. designing cities to encourage walking to fight obesity is bad

how do any of these things relate to being liberal? i am amazed at the ability for everything in world to fit into the bi-chromatic rainbow we have for a political system. you prefer small government? congrats, you also love guns & hate higher education!

an inconvenient truth

Why is global warming such a political issue? I have been pondering this lately. What about the very idea of humans being responsible in any way for climate change upsets people like ann coulter so much? it has nothing to do with the war, abortion, or jesus.
i have decided that is has absolutely nothing to do with the issue itself - it is only because Al Gore made a movie about it that liberals support it & conservatives deny it. i think that if Bush or Cheney had been the politicians to say global warming was a problem conservatives would be slapping green ribbons on their cars right next to their American flags and christian fish. and liberals would be ranting about how bush is spending all the national budget on yet another pipe dream.

As happy as i am that people are starting to pay more attention to caring for the environment, the whole eco fad is kinda annoying me. all the "green" t-shirts, cars, makeup, etc. aren't really a substitute for recycling, planting trees, and not wasting what we have. the eco-craze is just another thing we've found to make us all feel good about ourselves without actually having to change our lifestyles. the "green" oscars? seriously? how are all those diamonds eco-friendly? instead of wasting millions of dollars on publicity stunts why didn't they use all that money to buy up some rainforest in brazil - or better yet, encourage economic development so people wouldn't have to keep chopping it down. hypocrites.

we are the champions

Atlanta has officially beat both LA & Philly for the much coveted title "Bank Robbery Capital of the US". We went from 249 bank robberies in 2006 to 350 in 2007 to date. That is a 40.6% increase in just one year. Way to go Atlanta!

HOTlanta

Today it was 75 degrees and sunny. It is supposed to be 80 on Tuesday. Is the drought making atlanta into southern california? if only

i feel like laura linney in "love actually"...

I could write this book

when i get bored in church i amuse myself by analyzing the congregation. in high school i would count the number of mullets (average = 3 per sunday). here in atlanta i count the number of people i actually know (average = 3 per 10 people). in my musing i can't help but notice that some of the young men in the congregation are highly attractive (average = 2 per 50). one such young man is my roommate's fiance's roommate, named BJ. he has the tortured artist look going on (even though he is in law school) & is hilarious. today he came & sat next to me in church. inside, i was thinking "sweet, this guy is freakin hot". outside, i totally ignored him. even though i think he's the hottest guy in the ward, when he actually sits next to me....i don't even talk to him. yes, i am an idiot.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever

The Manorexic showed me a list of the funniest similes collected from true high school English papers. The kids that wrote these are unbelievable - like something that is hard to fathom. Here are a few favorites:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
3. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
6. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
7. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph
8. . He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up
9. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

and my all time favorite:

10. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

"You will end up childless and alone"....."Well, fingers crossed, yeah"

Last week I met a guy at FHE & ended up going over to his house with a mutual friend afterwards to watch "About A Boy". Then, after institute this week, he voluntarily came over to talk to me & we actually had a decent conversation. I think 2 conversations + 1 non-church social event = a new friend. So perhaps I'm not a social pariah at church after all.

i wish...

In observing a debate over gay marriage I heard this sarcastic remark: "Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall"
I wish that it was true (mostly the tall part).

the long & winding road

I came home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday. The trip usually takes 5 hours. Here is the day:

10am - i leave my apartment
10:30 - arrive at the TimeSucker's apartment (the agreed upon time to leave)
10:50 - leave the TimeSucker's apartment
11am - get directions to TimeSucker's friend's house that is "on the way" whom we are going to visit "for a few minutes"
noon - drive SOUTH of atlanta & eventually arrive at said friend's house
2pm - leave friend's house after being mauled by a very smelly dog & drive back to where we started 3 hours ago
4pm - still sitting in traffic about 20 miles outside of atlanta due to the holiday rush & an accident. ponder on how if i had left the TimeSucker in atlanta i would have gone home on tuesday & avoided all this
4:05pm - restrain from swearing & possibly physical abuse
5pm - get to east georgia & go shopping at the outlets to buy Christmas presents (and regain some sanity. ahhh, retail therapy, how i love you)
6pm - finally make it out of georgia about the time i'd told my mom i'd arrive in k-town
8pm - call ChurchGirl & hang up so she'll call me back to avoid a horrible conversation with someone that I am very tempted to leave in the mountains of North Carolina. he could probably find his way back to atlanta eventually
10pm - arrive at my house, 12 hours after i'd left my apartment

lesson learned: Never, under any circumstances, feel sorry enough for someone to invite them to your house for Thanksgiving. Particularly if they annoy the crap out of you.

ch-ch-ch-changes

how is that after leaving utah i feel a stronger desire to be churchy? is utah perhaps not the zion it is purported to be? i'm so confused....

either way, i have a new goal: i am going to stop swearing.
try not to cry, ChurchGirl. you'll always have the memories.

couldn't wait till i got home, to pass the time in my room alone

I made a major social breakthrough today: even though I was invited to multiple social events with people I actually like, I chose to stay at home. I talked to my roommate, cleaned, and will go to bed soon. My decision to stay home may be because I have only gotten 7 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours. But I prefer to think that I have finally achieved social nirvana where my happiness is not dependant on going out on the weekends.

That or I am slowly going crazy & retreating into my own psychotic mind. Cleaning on a Friday night is strangely reminiscent of a crazy person I used to know....

the beautiful side of somewhere

Why I No Longer Hate Life:

1. It is fall in the South. That alone makes the world a good place.

2. I got to video chat with my family & see my little niece crawling around. So cute!

3. I talked to ChurchGirl on Saturday & then had a dream that I went to visit her in Cali...someday....

4. Went out with girlfriends & ate a pint of ice cream. Ah, the healing power of chocolate.

5. Went to church & some of the testimonies were actually good. A rare miracle.

6. Watched a french film.

7. Talked to an old roommate that I have not always have the most positive feelings for & it was actually a really good conversation.

8. Went to FHE all by myself (ie, not with PC) & realized I actually have friends at church and a surprising number of them are boys. Who knew?

9. Went shopping online. As the Manorexic told me when he was trying to cheer me up, "You always have shopping"

10. Finished one paper & one project!

one big suck-fest

Why I hated last week:

1. Family issues, which are not my fault, resulted in 3 long conversations, which all ultimately ended with me in tears. During the one with my parents, my dad just yelled at me for 40 minutes about things that are only indirectly related to me. Maybe he didn't realize who he was talking to?

2. Things crashed & burned with PC. I'm not sure what part of "If you ask me on more dates, I will expect more" he didn't understand for the past month. Actually, I'm pretty sure he understood but chose to ignore it. Regardless, I've barely spoken to him since Thursday despite his attempts to make things better. And at least for now, I am happier that way.

3. One of my best friends had a highly traumatic week (conniving roommates, cheating boyfriends, crazy family) resulting in distress & secret conversations with people who could help her. So I feel like I am hiding things from her, but it is for her own good. That is okay, right?

4. Apparently all my professors decided to assigns things at the same time. One mid-term, 3 term papers, & 3 projects due in a 2 week period. Bloody hell.


I feel like I'm being melodramatic, but when it all combined in the space of 5 days, it F-ing sucked.

appearances can be deceiving...or, why i hate movie ratings

I've seen 2 films in the theater in the past few weeks. The Darjeeling Unlimited (reviewed below) was rated R, but I don't keep that rule so of course I went to see it anyway. Popular Blogging Friend told me it was only rated R for language & she was fairly correct. No violence, one minor sex scene in which both people were fully clothed, & some swear words. I came out of the theater surprised at how clean it actually was.
In contrast a few days ago I went to see Elizabeth:The Golden Age. I didn't know much about it, but I saw as I went in that it was rated PG-13. I was thought happily, "Oh, good, this won't be too bad". Wrong. This film had torture, war, a much more risque sex scene, other non-sex nudity, & bad language. I came out of that theater disturbed that my little sister would be allowed to buy a ticket to that film.

Seriously - the MPAA rating system is crap.

so go on, if this will make you happier...

Last week I was telling PC that the last time I was cried was when I had to leave my friend's wedding this summer and go back to Atlanta. So its been a while. I've made up for lost time this week by managing to cry twice on Sunday, twice today, & being otherwise slightly depressed the rest of the time. I decided the only thing to do was to make myself a playlist in iTunes of the most depressing songs I can find. So far I only have 8 songs, but I am looking for suggestions. Nothing cheers me up like listening to depressing music.

Nothing Says Love Like a Children's Chorus

We all know our good buddy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came to visit NYC last month & gave a pretty hilarious speech at Columbia. SNL made an awesome short to commemorate the event. I'm sure NBC will take it down soon so enjoy it while you can.

Bad News

The Army Corps of Engineers say we won't run out of water for at least 200 days. *sigh*
I guess I'll have to wait an extra 120 days to see Atlanta go down in an apocalyptic blaze of water-less glory.

Wes Anderson Strikes Again

On Saturday night I coerced PC into going to see the new Wes Anderson film, The Darjeeling Limited, with me. It was classic Wes Anderson - bright colours, random events, dysfunctional family, & Owen Wilson. The story follows 3 brothers who go to India on spiritual journey, which they promptly screw up. The plot is generally a bit weak & predictable, but the trite journey analogy is interspersed with a few surprises that give the movie its depth. Of course, the traditional random hilarity is what really made the film. As a dedicated Wes Anderson fan, I loved it. And even though I practically had to cry to get PC to take me & he's probably lost all illusion of my churchiness (i still maintain it was one of the cleanest R-rated films i've ever seen...), it was well worth whatever he spent on it.

You part the waters, the same ones i'm thirsty for

So Atlanta is in crisis. We have about 80 days worth of water left in our reservoir till the city runs out & no back up plan. Over the weekend the governor declared a state of emergency & called for the state government to reduce water consumption. As great as it is that people are starting to really pay attention to the drought, maybe we should have thought about this a bit earlier...

I can imagine the hysteria now: With Atlanta's main populations being gangster thugs & the NRA members who stockpile guns in their basements, 5 million people + no water is bound to equal quality entertainment.

Crazy?......I Just Can't See

The Montreal Saga, part two:

So in my previously cheery post about my fall break I left out some key events. After being in Montreal for about 2 days Quebecois starting acting a bit odd. She just didn't seem very happy & said some rather rude things to the Manorexic (not that he cared, but I did). I asked her if she was okay, but she pretended like everything was fine. However, by Sunday night she was barely speaking to any of us & went off with one of her friends. We went down to Old Port & had a great time, but when we came home it was back to the weird tension. The next day WorldTraveler went home & Quebecois gave her quite a chilly farewell. We were all quite puzzled by this & after an hour of discussion couldn't come up with any reason for her attitude. That was the last time I saw Quebecois because she never bothered to come home even though I was staying at her house for another day. I found the whole thing quite odd because Quebecois & I have been friends for years and never had any type of conflict. I haven't heard from her since my return & doubt I ever will. A bit sad, but is a friend like that really that big a loss?

This whole thing made me introspective about my choice of girl friends. She is the second close friend that I feel like I've had a huge falling out with in the past year. For a while I felt like this abnormally high number was perhaps because I am socially inept & subconsciously drive girls away from me. Then I thought about all the nice people I am friends with (ChurchGirl, Popular Blogging Friend, WorldTraveler) & decided that maybe I do know how to make good friends. I just also have a hard time perceiving which ones are crazy and which ones aren't.

Other low points in the trip:
*getting hit on by a drunken Moroccan
*multiple blisters
*being repeatedly yelled at by the old lady in front of me on the plane for daring to talk to Manorexic during our 3 hour plane ride back to GA. apparently she vitally needed to listen to the safety card instructions & couldn't sleep with any noise around her. this experience was mitigated by a fellow passenger leaning over and telling her that she had as much right to buy some ear plugs as the rest of us did to talk.

Update on My Love Life

So after PC & I had our little chat last week I thought it might be awkward, but it has been surprisingly normal. The day after the talk we hung out a lot till he dropped me off at the metro to go to Canada. While I was in Canada I decided that I am cool with whatever & haven't really gone out of my way to talk to him. Being super sick helped with the apathy since I've really only cared about when I can take another dose of painkillers for the past week. Yesterday I decided that I was going home after school & sleep till Sunday, but PC called and wanted to take me out to eat. I told him in our chat last week that if he kept taking me out every Friday I would start expecting more so I am quite confused as to why he is continuing to do so. I spent most of the date in my drug-induced alternative reality so I'm not sure how it went, but I think I was kinda mean. I do recall telling him I didn't care where we ate as long as I didn't have to talk to him until we got there. I meant b/c my throat was really sore & I didn't want to talk to anyone till I got to take more painkillers, but the explanation sounded a bit lame. Oh well, that's what he gets for sending mixed signals I guess.

O Canada

I went to Montreal over fall break. (I have now FINALLY been to Canada) Two of my friends (Manorexic & WorldTraveler) from Utah flew out and we all met up in Canada to visit our friend, Quebecois. Montreal is a beautiful, culturally diverse city. Almost everyone there is fluent in both English & French so I felt totally uneducated the entire time I was there. Most of our visit revolved around eating really good food & meeting Quebecois' friends. We did manage to get in some cultural sites around the shopping and eating. For example, this is the largest church in North America:

And here we are visiting McGill Univeristy with James McGill himself:


The last few days I was there Manorexic & I went to visit some families that he knew when he served as a missionary there. This was fun/potentially awkward as all the families thought that we were married. I wanted to put my ring on my left hand & pretend we were for kicks, but he thought that if he ever goes back with a real wife it would raise questions. The best family we visited was a Chinese family with 2 adorable little boys. I spent most of the visit trying to convince the younger one that he wanted me to hold him. It was quite a victory when he finally ran over to me with his little chubby arms raised up. It made me almost consider having children.


Another highlight was going to the tam-tams, which is basically a hippie party in Parc du Mont-Royal (a big park in the city). People bring their bongo drums and just go at it. Those without drums show up to dance & smoke pot. I'm not sure if the guy in picture below dressed up for the occasion or always wears this outfit, but I thought it was pretty awesome either way:

The day we left the Manorexic & I drove up to the top of Mont-Royal to see the city. I think the best part about the city was that it was fall & all the leaves were changing. you can kinda see it in the picture below:
So that was Montreal. More scandalous stories coming soon.

Who Am I?

I was talking to ChurchGirl on g-chat the other day & I realized that I have been going through an identity crisis. At BYU I had a well-defined role in society - the irreverent sinner girl who said inappropriate things just to see how people would react . Like that I never want children or that I only watch Conference if an apostle is speaking (a 70=nap time). Or the time I dropped the F-bomb about an ex-roommate's now husband...

In Atlanta, however, I could swear all day without anyone thinking twice. If anything, I shock people by being super churchy:
We're going to get drunk on Sunday afternoon after we finish our papers, you in?
Ummm, I have to go to church. And, I don't drink.
Seriously? You go to church? Wow, that is crazy.

At least I still have the church. Maybe if I'm lucky I can teach another RS lesson on why I think gay marriage is okay. All the horrified looks of the sisters would make me feel so much better...

futures made & fortunes lost

I've been having some car trouble & boy success lately:

On Monday my friend, Park City (the aforementioned boy in the post about my weekend), and I went to FHE & my car wouldn't start afterwards. It eventually did after trying for 5 minutes & we went on our merry way.

Last night I went to get the sister missionaries for dinner & it wouldn't start again. This time it took about 15 minutes of trying to get it going. On our way home we got in an accident with a nice British man who didn't see us & slammed his fancy Jaguar into the side of my car. I knew if I turned my car off it wouldn't start again so I made the sisters stay in it with it running while we did the insurance exchange thing. After sorting all that out, I still had to go to the grocery store to buy some food for the sisters. Still worried my car wouldn't start, I made them stay in the car again while I ran in & got the stuff.
By the time we got to my house the sisters had been sitting in my car for 45 minutes. Definitely an effective use of their time.

In my distress after the accident I called PC for emotional support. He offered to come up and take the sisters & me to institute. After institute we took the sisters home and went back to my house. In an attempt to cheer me up he told me stories about awkward moments with girls (example: once to avoid a kissing situation with a girl he ended up shoving a can of chili into her stomach instead). As the evening ended, I decided once again that he does actually like me.

So, the key to getting attention from boys is to have such a pathetically awful day that they are forced to feel sorry for you. If only I'd known how easy it is earlier...

Things I Did This Weekend

in chronological order:

1. Talked to a best friend from high school who just got back from Iraq (yay!!)
2. Braved a rock climbing wall (1st time since the big fall)
3. Went to an Emory soccer game (3-1)
4. Ate at a Mexican bar
5. Watched multiple episodes of The Office (hilarious)
6. Decided a certain boy does in fact like me
7. Went hiking with friends
8. Played frisbee in the pool
9. Took a trip to Costco
10. Returned cell phone left at my house (only an extra hour driving in atlanta traffic...)
11. Ate some BBQ (Smokehouse is better)
12. Watched "The Labyrinth"
13. Convinced said boy to be David Bowie for Halloween
14. Decided said boy does not like me
15. Church
16. Nap
17. Talked to multiple friends on the phone
18. Decided maybe said boy likes me
19. Thought about doing homework
20. Wasted time on the internet

conclusion: highly unproductive, but fun

Things I've Learned 2

One of my teachers happens to be a world expert on iodine deficiency so yesterday we had a lecture about it. Iodine is essential for development & if children don't get enough they'll have lower IQs (even to the point of being mentally retarded). In adults a lack of iodine exhibits as a swollen thyroid gland, commonly known as a goiter.
I worked with IDD in the Philippines so I know a bit about it in other countries. I assumed America iodized all its salt because we're rich. We don't. You can buy iodized salt at the store, but you can buy non-iodized as well so you have to pay attention. More importantly, this whole time I thought that eating chips was giving me adequate iodine so I could pretend it was healthy. Alas, no salt is iodized if it is in processed food. Most shocking though was when our teacher examined about 8 of the girls for goiters. Seven of them had them (albeit very small ones). Slightly disturbing.... Maybe this mass lack of iodine explains why most Americans seem so stupid to me?
Don't worry though - I have a solution: I am going to bake cookies with iodized salt every week & eat them all so I will have a healthy thyroid. It is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for my health.

good news

I tried out institute again this week. I decided I couldn't complain about not knowing anyone in the ward if I didn't go to FHE & institute. When I got to the church, I found out there is an Old Testament class. The teacher is a older dude who actually reads the scriptures & the people in the class don't make totally off topic comments. I guess God does love me after all.

i'd rather go to hell than shake your hand & wish you well*

I decided to go home last weekend. My brother & dad left for Ireland on Sunday and we were getting a new Stake President so I figured this was a good weekend to be home. Overall, it was a nice weekend - only slightly marred by the fact that I saw my arch enemy at stake conference. You are probably thinking, "Brooke, you are always so accepting and cuddly. How could you have an arch enemy?" Quite easily, in fact.

Imagine Michael Scott from the Office as a real person. Now imagine him as one of your friend's fathers. And there you have my Arch Enemy. He used to live in my ward, but sometime while I was at BYU, he & his wife (I don't like her either) moved to Virgina (still in the stake, sadly). So I only remember that this man exists when I go to stake conference. I could go into the multiple reasons I hate him, but suffice it to say that he is a self-righteous bastard. All the people that I claimed to hate at BYU are like good friends compared to Arch Enemy.


For some reason he thinks that it is okay to talk to me. Maybe because, when he proved incompetent of caring for his own children, his son moved in with my family for a year so he thinks we have a bond or something. More likely, I think he has forgotten the last conversation we had (I was 17). It ended with me saying "I don't like you & I refuse to talk to you ever again" & from that point on until he moved out of the ward if he tried to talk to me I would simply walk past without acknowledging his existence.

Its been 7 years since that conversation & I would like to think I've matured a bit. I guess not since when he came over & insisted on shaking hands with everyone in my family (most of us seething with hatred as we did so), the only cognitive thoughts that came to my mind were swear words. I can honestly say I am rarely filled with such loathing as I was in that moment. My little brother, Boy, asked, "What was on his tie?" I stared at him blankly for a few moments before I could formulate the sentence, "I'm sorry, the only words I can think of right now are vulgar." And then Boy, Babes (my little sister), the kid in front of us, & I all gossiped about how utterly atrocious Arch Enemy is.

I like to think that I am the type of person who doesn't hold grudges. Well, I'm not. I think I will detest this man until I die. I'll probably still be avoiding him in the celestial kingdom. But, even if I couldn't actually look at or speak to him, I did shake his hand. I think that is pretty good progress for 7 years.


*these are lyrics from an excellent song called "I Hate You" by John Oszajca. i recommend it if you are pissed at someone

tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

I decided to try out my ward's institute options to counter-balance the rather secular school that I attend. Unfortunately, thus far I have been highly unimpressed by the experience. My options are either Provident Living or Book of Mormon. Since the words "provident living" only bring to mind images of my parents' food storage room, I decided to stick with BoM. The class is taught by senior couple missionaries & the first week was the lady's turn. The topic was the tree of life dream - pretty hard to misunderstand considering that the explanations of the symbols are explained in the next chapter. However, she is a remarkable lady & was able to spew so much false doctrine that my roommate (who joined the church 3 months ago) was totally lost. My favorite was a ten minute discussion on the semantics of the words "clinging to the rod of iron" - which this lady had convinced herself were negative. I spent most of the hour muttering "that is just her opinion, NOT doctrine" to my confused roommate.

The next week my roommate had something to do so I went alone. I was going to try the provident living class, but it still intimidated me so I went back to BoM. This time the husband was teaching and I thought "Well, maybe she is crazy, but he is voice of reason in this companionship". Ahhh, the hope of wishful thinking. This guy starts out with a 20 minute speculation on things Nephi's boat could symbolize. I was very tempted to raise my hand and say, "What the hell is wrong with you people? It is just a boat. It took them across the sea. It is an f-ing boat!" But, swearing at institute is usually frowned on so I just listened in disbelief to the many things that were enthusiastically fabricated. Since we wasted so much time talking about the boat (maybe its the power of God!) we only had time to mention that Jesus said the words of Isaiah are great & we should study them. Of course, we didn't actually have time to even read them because we'd been too busy making up crap about a boat (maybe its life!) We finished off with the wife telling all about dancing in the temple.

The only lesson I learned from the past 2 weeks at insitute is that false doctine hour seriously pisses me off. Not exactly the desired repsonse to institute. So even if it is how to can peaches and store water for the rest of the year, I'll be going to Provident Living.

Bright Lights, Big City

Moving from Bubble-ville to a city of 5.3 million was bound to be a big change. I expected things like horrible traffic (check), getting lost daily (check), & a better night life (the jury is out - it would probably be cool if i had some friends...). There have been some unexpected perks though:

1. Getting hit up by bums for money anytime I venture away from my house or Emory's campus. One dude even accosted me as I was getting in my car at the grocery store. Not that I have anything against people eating, but when you can smell the alcohol on them, you know it is not going to "food".

2. People borrowing my cell phone. In the past 2 weeks, 3 random people on MARTA (the train system) have asked me if they could borrow my phone. Note that I had not used my phone in their presence & they had no way of knowing that I actually owed one. Yesterday the lady next to me used hers & then a girl asked me to borrow mine. WTF?

3. Fun stuff to stare at on the street. Last week a friend & I drove by a car being torched in the middle of the road. Why? No idea. But, I never saw interesting stuff like that in Bubble-ville.

As one of my friends down here told me, "Atlanta is great. You can have all the high cultural experiences of other cities & the all excitement of dodging bullets on the way home. It is the best of both worlds!"

Things I've Learned

I've decided to introduce a section in my blog about the scary things I learn at school everyday. I have a feeling my parasitic diseases class will provide prime material for this. Here are the highlights from this week:

• There are lots of parasites in water. The one above is called cryptosporidium. It is responsible for 60% of gastroenteritis outbreaks in the US. You've probably had it before.
  

• Chlorine doesn't kill parasites
  

• Public pools are not filtered well & are basically just big vats of parasitic water b/c of the people that swim without showering first

all these people are probably infecting each other. sick.

• 82% of people think that if you have diarrhea you should never swim at a public pool. Great. What about the other 18%? What are those people thinking??? "Hmmmm, I have the runs today. Maybe a nice dip at the public pool will clear it up!"
  

singing songs about the southland

Over Labor Day weekend I went to Stone Mountain with some friends. Stone Mountain is mostly a big rock dome right outside Atlanta, but it also has a large relief carving of 3 Confederate heroes - Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee, & Stonewall Jackson. The group I happened to be with hailed from Utah, China, New Jersey, & Canada. A few of them seemed to feel that having a tribute to anything Confederate was inherently racist. I have spent a lot of time in the past years thinking about the South's obsession with "The War of Northern Aggression" & its ties to racist. These are my conclusions:


People who have not lived in the South cannot understand the impact the Civil War had on it. The economy, culture, & society were all irrevocably altered. The South went from being the most prosperous part of the nation to the poorest, sickest, & least educated. And it has never recovered. The affects of the Civil War are still a part of daily life down here. Of course people still talk about it, dwell on it, & honor the people who lead the fight against becoming what the South is today. In educated Southern society, the fall of the South is not about slavery, it is about the destruction of a once successful land. Equating the acknowledgement of the most definitive event of an area’s history with racism is simply ignorant.


Disclaimer: It is obviously a good thing that the South lost the war. A society built on gross violations of human rights needs to be uprooted. And judging people based on the color of their skin (whatever is may be) is ridiculous.

freaks & geeks

so i've lived in the city of Atlanta for about a week now & thus far have not been too impressed with the cultural offerings. everything changed tonight when i happened upon Dragon*Con, Atlanta's premier pop culture/sci-fi/fantasy convention. while wandering downtown with some friends, i saw a man dressed as a star wars storm trooper. and then i saw a harry potter, a man with a large wooden sword, & a plethora of nerds with dragons or wizards on their over-sized t-shirts. eventually i made my way down to a veritable parade of characters. my favorites were the 7 foot tall Chewbacca, 4 guys that collectively made up a tetris game, the lego man, & a girl dressed as the house that killed the witch in the wizard of oz (completely with ruby slippers).

the best part about the event was how excited all the participants seemed to be. i've been hunting for a new hobby lately & i think this might just be the perfect thing. the social implications may be a bit negative. i always thought those people were fringe members of society, but apparently there are enough of them to fill 3 large hotels. and they did all seem very happy. i could always wear a storm trooper mask so no one would know it was actually me...

I'm waiting for my real life to begin

A few months ago my old roommate and I talked about starting blogs. We were envious of our popular blogger friend. While aforementioned roommate, ChurchGirl, actually got around to it, I decided to put it off till something exciting happened to me. Since I am off to grad school & I know thousands will want to keep up with my life, I figured this was as good a time to start as any. Party on.