tragic

this was the most heartbreaking soccer match i've ever seen

my work schedule, of late

9am – arrive at work/see how the 1st World Cup game of the day turned out
10am – pretend to work/listen to the second World Cup game online while also following the game cast on both FIFA & NYTimes [sometimes setting up the video - for the most important games]
11:30am – talk with my co-workers about the games for half an hour
Noon – lunch time
1pm – work for real
2:30pm – pretend to work/same ridiculous following of the late game as before
3pm – constantly update my gchat status to reflect what's happening in the game
4pm – discuss day’s games with co-workers/online/via text message with everyone I know

5pm - work for real
6pm – go home & read Facebook comments about soccer

*except for this Friday. i will be spending my morning at the local bar, watching the USA beat Slovenia!

suck it england

our keeper is better

Self Destruction

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling like I had made a bad decision. I choose to do something rather self-destructive. It wasn’t morally or ethically wrong, but I foresaw potential emotional damage to myself. As the time came, I started feeling extremely high anxiety and wishing I had a stash of Xanax (My mother refuses to give me any - she is so cruel). I briefly entertained the thought of backing out on my anxiety-causing plans, but I am never one to shirk from some good emotional drama. Instead, I started planning the blog post I would write later about how we all make unwise choices and self-destruction is part of human nature and I could throw a recent example of self-inflicted pain from The Manorexic in there yadda yadda yadda.

So off I went, into a world of doubt & confusion & feelings. And when I came out on the other side, I had eaten some seriously delicious food, gotten hit on by a harmlessly nice guy, & won a free shot glass at a bar. But most importantly, I was totally fine. If anything, even more content with my life than when I began my evening. Let me say here, this is not always the case in this scenario, which has happened repeatedly in the past. But after last night I feel like the more I throw myself into this sea of self-destruction, the more I learn to handle it, cope with those issues, & come out the better for it. Being exposed to that potential for emotional heartache and making it through can show us how far we’ve progressed. Perhaps a little self-destruction can be a good thing.

vacay

i love summer. the sun does not set until nine, fruit is in season, & vacations abound. during May i went home to Tennessee for mother's day. partly to see the fam & partly to get to talk with Boy on video chat. Boy took this picture of our mother a while ago. he titled it "words cannot not describe this picture"

is it sad that i know from the font on the sign in the background this was taken in a Banana Republic outlet store?

next up: camping! we went to the north georgia mountains (about 2 hours from ATL). i came in the late car so my tent was set up & my dinner was cooked upon my arrival (best way to camp). the weather was lovely, the company was good, the morning hike was enjoyable - success all around.

the gayest camping trip ever!

finally, i spent the long weekend at the beach. i'd never been to the Gulf before so i went to Destin, FL. it was surprisingly beautiful - white sand, aqua waters. my friend found us a sweet condo & i spent my weekend in the sun.

this renewed my desire to live on a coast

plans for June: DC, the Jersey shore, perhaps NYC

recommendations

i have a deep and eternal love for television. a few of the best things i've seen lately:

The Simpsons opening credits covering Ke$ha

Betty White: The best thing that's happened to SNL since the election

The latest episode of Glee was particularly good b/c they had people other than Rachel & Finn singing (i am SO bored with them, i don't care how good they are. ok, "Jesse's Girl" was actually really good. speaking of him, i hate Jesse Saint-James. he is dull as hell & there was zero chemistry between him and Rachel. yawn.)

you're welcome.

to quote SSG

SSG is serving her mission in Australia now, but when she was still in Georgia she often said, "its a tender mercy!" (about things like seeing a grocery store when she wanted ice cream. very important stuff.) i don't use that phrase too often, but sometimes it seems appropriate. i'm not going to lie, last week was pretty rough overall. mostly i felt really isolated & wanted to go be with my family. but, it wasn't really practical & the Hixsons are nothing if not practical. also, Rational Thought told me if i didn't attend her cookout that weekend that we would "be in a fight" (direct quote). so i resigned myself to staying in Atlanta & found some fun sounding things to look forward to (other than the cookout, which was, of course, the best part of the weekend). but then, my mother ended up having a 3 hours layover in Atlanta on thursday night! so i got to see my mom at the airport for a while and, like a good mom, she bought me food & made me feel better. and in my mind i thought, "if SSG was here, she would call this a tender mercy."