the 3 year old niece

even though she's been a bit of a brat lately, there is something gratifying about walking in the door and having someone so excited to see you that her entire body goes into a convulsive dance as she screams, "Ahhhhh! Aunt Brookie! Aunt Brookie!"

Thanksgiving

this is a little late, but thanksgiving was excellent this year: relaxing, lots of family time, no fights, good food. other than the incredible loudness of a house with two 9 month olds and a 3 year old, it was pretty much perfect.

the namesake. she reminds me of a bear in this picture.

the fat one. eating. of course. (check out her chubby fingers! they crack me up)

my favorite way to see aelish these days

for Church Girl

i've been thinking about my hatred for choir music ever since we talked about your mom's cd. but then i listened to the Christmas devotional & liked the songs. and that is when i realized its not that i hate choirs, i just hate hymns.

happy holidays

i'm usually not one of those people who gets really into church, but i have to say, i quite enjoyed this year's Christmas devotional. President Uchtdorf's talk was my favorite. but then again, i've been slightly biased towards him ever since his wife & i went fudge shopping together at a Christmas market in Utah. true story.

this is my life

it is just after midnight. i'm sitting in my bed, watching Grey's Anatomy, eating raisins, & doing statistics. try not to be too jealous of my exotic existence.

victory is mine

sometimes, life is good. today for example. first of all, i found out today that a paper i wrote was accepted for a big HIV conference (CROI, in case you were wondering). this means i get a free trip to San Francisco. i'm more than a little excited.

then, a few hours later, the guy in charge of the money pulled me into his office & gave me one of the coveted underground parking passes (as opposed to the terrible, crowded surface lot). most of my co-workers would be very jealous, which is why i won't be telling them about it.

Northwest Adventure Part 3: City Sights

for those of you who read Liz's blog (and i recommend it), just pretend like you haven't seen all these pictures already.

at the Seattle sculpture garden

most of them were pretty abstract

my favorite sculpture there

SSG contemplates both the metal tree & the meaning of life

the space needle

lake washington, view near my aunts' house

Northwest Adventure Part 2: Random People

as SSG & i were waiting for the bus one day, a man will long dreadlocks approached us and said,

Do you have an Eastern European email address?

Ummm, no

Would you like one?

No

You don't want an Eastern European email address?

No

the conversation went on for a while & also included these gems:

Do you want to buy textiles and handbags in Texas? We could take Amtrak or Greyhound.

You don't want to by handbags in Texas?

Which one is the artist?

once we were on the bus, an adorable old man boarded. he was wearing nice pants & a wool suit jacket, a textured wool tie, and a baseball cap, vans, & a diamond stud earring. he was an interesting contradiction. as he boarded, an old lady said loudly, "hi boyfriend, how are you?" they proceeded to flirtatiously discuss betty davis movies. it was kinda weird to watch the whole encounter.

Northwest Adventure Part 1: Riding the Bus

SSG & I went to Seattle/Vancouver for last weekend. We managed to get from the airport to downtown pretty quickly & then proceeded to get confused in the transportation tunnel for about an hour. We figured out which bus we needed and even which station to get it from, but actually finding the stop was a little more complicated (really, it was kinda complicated!). After two conversations with metro transit employees, we finally found our bus stop. I was excited enough to document it.

After meeting two youths of questionable gender & learning how to remember the cross streets of Seattle ("Jesus Christ Built Seattle Under Pressure"), we finally arrived at my aunts' street. Once again, documentation was in order.

The next day we braved the buses again. We boarded Bus 3 near the beginning of its route & headed off to explore the city. We decided on all day bus passes ($4 each). The Southeast Asian bus driver said to put the money in the bus meter, but I slide a bill into the feeder, he yelled, "Oh dear, sweet lord! Was that a $20?" Turns out, the bus meter does not give you change. We needed $12 back so as each new rider tried to put their money in the machine, our bus driver snatched it out of their hands saying, "How much money do you have? Give it to me. The lady already paid for you." By the time our stop arrived, we had managed to make back $11 and provide a mixture of confusion and amusement for our fellow passengers.

As I was trying to keep track of how well we were recouping our $12, SSG was engrossed in conversation with one of the very friendly Seattlites we met. After giving us a long list of places to visit (complete with bus routes to get there), he said, "If you go to Starbucks, I'll be deeply offended. If you must go corporate, Tully's is acceptable. But really, you need to find Pete's Coffee. It is the best." Other gems from this helpful local included: there is good Irish music in Pioneer Square, the "dive-iest" Little Saigon is the best. the others are just rip offs, KBXP is the best radio station. we will probably want to listen to it online when we return to Atlanta, Pagliacci is the best pizza, and the Queen Anne neighborhood is rich but down to earth, which is "an interesting contradiction".

Bonus Notes: We did got to Tully's (it has better pumpkin spice steamers than anywhere else we tried) and Queen Anne, which has a lovely view of the skyline. I am about to try out KBXP right now.

the view from Queen Anne

tragedy averted

well, i was right about Boy. he is alive & well in Albania. he starts training a new missionary this week & is more than a little stressed about it. luckily, he is still sending a steady stream of hilarious Albanian words for me to enjoy. here are some of my favorites, with his commentary.

Filan-someone whose name is not to be mentioned (apparently Lord Voldemort really did hide out in Albania!)

Peshkaqen njeringrënës-great white shark (this one is awesome because the direct word-for-word translation is actually ‘person-eating shark)
Virrake-dark stripe on a donkey’s shoulder (good thing we have this word but ‘learn’ and ‘teach’ are the same word huh?)

Motërzohet-to pledge sisterhood to each other by drinking a drop or each other’s blood

living vicariously

wow. a crapload of things happened to my friends and me today. including (all different people):

1. big car accident

2. new baby boy (9 lbs!)

3. new car

4. finally got health & dental insurance

5. life changing decisions put into motion (sorry, so cryptic. i took a vow of silence)

6. braved a church study group all alone for 1st time

7. something sure as hell had better have happened to Boy b/c he didn't email today & The 'Rents called me freaking out just a little bit. convinced them not to call the mission like they did the 1st time i missed a weekly email.

with all this stuff going on, i was basically on the phone for 4 hours tonight. my ear is tired.

the perils of working in an HIV research clinic

because of the flooding, the schools in atlanta have been closed all week & yesterday my boss brought her five year old daughter to work. when the little girl was playing around in her mom's office, she found what she thought was a tomato on her mother's desk. she proceeded to wander around the office asking everyone there why there was a tomato on her mom's desk. when i arrived at work, my boss said "why don't you ask brooke why there was a tomato on my desk?" i was like "what? i don't know anything about that." then, i saw the tomato:

the perils of life in the ATL

when i 1st moved here, there was a drought.

then there were tornados.

now, there are floods. as in 15 inches of water in two days (after a week of rain already) floods. as in the "amount of rain is something you would expect in the Atlanta region once every 300 to 400 years" floods (according to the Weather Channel). as in if work is not cancelled tomorrow i'll be annoyed b/c all the schools in my county are closed so i shouldn't have to go in either even if the roads between my house & work are perfectly fine floods.

a good week

i am SO happy that TV is back. yes, i am that shallow.

things i've learned 7

1. target brand tupperware is not in fact water tight & will let watermelon juice leak into your pretty new lunch bag (but at least i had my pretty new lunch bag, otherwise it would have leaking to my biking bag which is not as easy to clean. thanks, SSG!)

2. if you put your bike helmet underneath the automatic foam soap dispenser in the bathroom at work when you are changing into your biking clothes for your eco-friendly commute home, your helmet will get soapy.

3. when you are cleaning the knobs on your gas stove & accidently turn one of them part way (but not enough to see a flame), that weird smell in your kitchen is leaking gas. and, you probably should have figured that out about 45 minutes earlier than you did.

debt free, bitches! or, how shrewd investments & generational wealth paid off my student loans

that's right, today is the best day of my life. i am not longer trapped under a mountain of crushing debt and constantly increasing interest payments.

back when the former president decided to start an unnecessary war, i remembered my US history lessons about the economy growing during wartime. so i took some money i had & bought a bunch of stocks. they were safe, long-term growth stocks, but the economy was doing quite well at the time and i managed to double my investment in about five years. at the same time, i put all the extra money i had into a high-interest rate mutual fund (which was doing quite well till the banks crashed & burned)

my investments left me with about half of the money i needed for grad school & i could have slowly paid off the rest over the course of 20 years or something. but, i found a better option at the Dr.Hixson Interest-Free Loan & Grant Program. my wonderful father cashed in some CDs, mailed me some checks, & drastically reduced my principle balance. also, my inheritance from my beloved grandfather came through just in time for me to pay off the remaining balance (he even helps me with school from the great beyond!)

things i'm grateful for (to steal from various bloggers i know): ancestors who made wise investments & passed that generational wealth down to me!

this week, in pictures

the past week's been a little out of control. here are some highlights:

we had a quad-birthday mega party last saturday. it was a little extreme.

we had to have 4 types of cake, of course

The Manorexic & me

SSG

the other birthday boy.

i had 2 old friends come to visit too. unfortunately, i forgot to take a picture with the first one.

the second one.

we found this in the men's bathroom at the westin.

it was the best part of the night by far.

(it says: "Jesus believes in you its okay to open up sincerely, Holy Spirit)

post-visitors, i drove to TN for the weekend. it was stormy & gorgeous in the mountains:

i'd forgotten how much greener/prettier TN is compared to GA

unfortunately, i'd also forgotten it was race weekend in the tri-cities. every hotel & restaurant in my town was totally full. with nascar fans. so you can imagine how much i enjoyed that.

logical thinkers

ChurchGirl & i just had a chat on the telephone. we started our conversation by ordering the topics up for discussion:

me: i like how we just planned our conversation

ChurchGirl: well, we have to have it in outline form!

a guide to true friendship

if you meet 4 or more of the following criteria, i consider you a true friend (vastly superior to a mere friend)

1. facebook friends - i'm not saying all of my facebook "friends" are true friends, but if i can't stalk you online our relationship is meaningless

2. i've made you at least one mixed cd

3. i've stayed up past 2am talking to you

4. you've been invited to one of my elite parties

5. we've done video chat

6. i've made you some type of gift - typically food or random art project

7. you receive random emails from me (often with links)

8. you've been invited to come to k-town sometime

9. i've come to visit you after moving away

10. you have a name on my blog

just indulge me, ok?

my nieces are the fattest, cutest twins ever!

summer reading

i've gotten more into reading lately. i blame my english major friends. and the library is just down the street. literally, like half a mile on the street i live on. it is unavoidable. so, my opinions on several books:

* The Virgin Suicides - i started thinking about reading this book after it was brought up by one of the english friends (whom i think i will now refer to as the Surprisingly Southern Girl or SSG for short). both of us enjoy things that are heartbreaking, which this book is. it is also short & has lovely imagery.

* The Memory Keeper's Daughter - i listened to this on cd when i drove to FL & back. i found myself skipping multiple tracks after a while. it was boring. and once characters have affairs b/c they are bored/depressed/unsatisfied with their perfectly adequate suburban lives, i pretty much hate any book. sorry, that was a spoiler. but you shouldn't be wasting your time on this book anyway.

* The House on Mango Street - the title itself is so appealing to me. i first heard about this one when i was blog-stalking The Manorexic's "friend in Korea" & wanted to read it. but i am lazy. so i didn't. but then SSG read it & lent me her copy. it has an interesting style - it is a bunch of short vignettes that together tell the story. i highly recommend it.

*Stiff - finally, a non-fiction option. RationalThought gave this one to me. it is all about what happens to bodies when they die - medical research, forensic research, various burial/cremation options, etc. sounds weird, but it actually quite entertaining. seriously.

Next on my list: Night, Memoirs of a Geisha, & The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Any suggestions?

things i've learned 6

taken from email correspondence between RationalThought (who is in Chile) and myself:

i have a story to tell you when you get home. it has to be in person. here is the preview: brooke tells her friends a bunch of lies to avoid talking about something that she did this weekend. someone sees her & tells sara, brooke starts swearing loudly at linger longer. the end.

Can't wait to hear the story. Has this taught you a lesson about compulsive lying?

well, these lies weren't so much compulsive as carefully planned out & executed...

lessons learned: compulsive lying = fine.
premeditated lying + witnesses = getting caught + profanity = embarrassment

You Can't Skip Steps

don't worry, i don't want to go to mcdonald's either

making progress

one of my goals for the summer is to be less snobby at church and actually get to know some people who live more than 10 minutes away from me. i think i've been doing pretty well. last night at a party i became friends with a guy i'd never talked to before. it was an art student's birthday party & the host was having everyone paint her pictures with watercolors. i wasn't really in a painting mood so i decided to interpret/critique the paintings. my new friend joined me in the critiquing and we moved from mocking paintings to mocking people. so maybe that was a little snobby, but i still made a new friend so i think it was worth it.

it comes in waves

this is the first weekend in 6 weeks that i haven't been out of town or had someone staying at my house. i have never been so excited to sit around by myself for two days.

cafe rio

the other day i was looking for some cafe rio recipes an old roommate sent me once. so i did a search for "cafe rio" in my gmail. of the 11 emails that showed up, 7 of them were from/to ChurchGirl. i'm pretty sure the foundation of our friendship is a mutal love for food.

the thing's i'll do for a paycheck

today at work i had to look up some websites that my office might use to advertise our HIV vaccine trials. we try to focus on specific groups that are at high risk for HIV, such as gay men. here's a list of some of the website's i looked at:

adam4adam
bigmuscles
manhunt
BGCLive

while some are more graphic then others, i highly recommend never looking at any of these sites. the mental scars will probably never leave me.

right? right? crap

i've been second-guessing myself a lot lately. i've done or said things and quickly started thinking, "that may have been a very bad idea. things could go horribly wrong as a result"

most of time this happens after i've had an emotionally-charged conversation of some type: politics, relationships, politics' effects on relationships, and seemly casual conversations that have a totally different sub-text.

it has been a little annoying. i'm not a fan of self doubt and am sure it will pass. in the meantime, if i call you and ask you stupid questions, you're response should probably be "what? no, that was totally the right thing to do." or "absolutely, that person still likes you even if you said that stupid/insensitive thing."

she's almost a real person

last weekend i went home. when my little brother was still in TN, i mostly chilled with him when i went home. now that he is gone i am forced to talk to the rest of the family. since my parents neglected me all weekend, i was left with only Babes to entertain me. she was surprisingly cool. i even got her to wash my car. it is so weird to watch my little sister grown-up. i'm used to her being a silly little girl that loves glitter, not someone that is legally allowed to drive us to church. someday i might even see her as an equal. scary.

i'm sorry i swear it i'm done

i was talking to RationalThought about drug addiction last week. i may have been too honest about my past love for prescription medication. i hope she doesn't find my painkiller stash & have me committed to a rehab clinic. just kidding, i only have excedrin now. but seriously, i LOVE using chemicals to control my mood/alertness/state of mind/everything. god gave us chemicals for a reason, people!

debate topic

The font known as Helvetica is either:

a) responsible for both the Vietnam and Iraq wars

or

b) so divine that it makes you think all your problems will be resolved... or maybe they never existed

Discuss amongst yourselves.

things i've learned 5

last night i chatted with some of my church friends till about 2:30am. today i went to work & it turned out to be an extra crazy day. by the time i got home i had a migraine & passed out in my bed till 9pm. moral of the story: even if things just start getting good when the sandy springs people leave, i probably shouldn't stay for 3 more hours consuming copious amounts of sugar & caffeine.

i'm just saying

on monday i got to do video chat with Boy. it was so fabulous to get to actually talk to him & see him (looking tanner and dorkier). since then though, i've only missed him more. only 20 more months...

unless, i get lost next year during my trip to western europe with my parents & end up in albania. you never know, it could happen.

new topic

i'm usually pretty open about my life, but there are some things i avoid talking about b/c they are too traumatic for me to want to think about again. these things include friends that have died, traumatic break-ups, and now, my thesis. i don't want to talk about it. ever. or anything remotely related to it. if you try to bring it up repeatedly in a 24 hour period (i'm looking at you, mom), i will probably just stop talking to you all together. if i want to talk to you about it, i will. but don't get your hopes up b/c that will never ever happen. thanks.

people are dumb

unfortunately this is more true than not...

i got it here

H5N1

Dear ChurchGirl,

I have found a flaw with living in Southern California: swine flu. I hope you don't get it. You should probably not hang out with sick people. I will remain safe & healthy in Georgia. I figure living so close to the CDC will protect me.

PS - Utah friends, it is coming your way. You should probably stock up on face masks right away. And shun people from California.

the reason i didn't have power for two days this week

these women are my heroes

these brave ladies are protesting limitations to their rights in the face of angry crowds three times their size. read about it

running to stand still

last week i...

had my parents visiting for 4 days
got to talk to Boy on the phone (he was in the airport on his way to Tirana)
visited Atlanta's lovely botanical gardens
wrote/edited two drafts of my thesis
actually attended my classes
took a midterm
worked 20 hours
went to a cabin for the weekend
actually went to 3 hours of church (1st time in at least 6 weeks)
planned & semi-hosted an easter dinner

... i am so tired.

crying

the other night some friends & i were talking about crying & how long it had been since we'd cried. it ranged from 12 hours (a girl) to over a year (a boy. i know you're shocked). i don't really enjoy crying. it makes me SO uncomfortable if other people are around when i cry. i was thinking about the people i've felt comfortable crying in front of during my life. it was a short list:

1. Boy

2. my mission comp of 7 months

3. one roommate/best friend from pre-mission BYU years

4. one (and only one) of my ex-boyfriends

the borders of our lives

topics i've discussed on 1st dates with mormon boys:

1. my hatred for pioneer day & the pioneers in general

2. how my gay aunt is my favorite aunt

3. why i think abortion should being legal

4. how pap smears are done

old addictions rear their ugly heads again

i've been on my feminist soapbox for about a month now. a variety random things have contributed to this renewed level of frustration. sadly, they all involved "The Church". the two things that bothered me the most, however, did not come from disappointing lessons or incredibly misguided ward activities (although those occurred). rather, they were communications i had that left me feeling very depressed about the perspectives of my generation on women in the church.

the first was an email i received from a friend of ChurchGirl who was interested in getting an MPH and had some questions. in providing me with some background about herself she talked at length about how she really wanted to be a doctor, but had realized that, "Being an MD, especially as a female physician, does not allow a mother to tend properly to her life outside of her practice." now, i am positive that this girl did not know that my mother is a female physician. or that i am so proud of having a doctor-mom & feel it is a huge blessing in my life. nevertheless, i was extremely offended/disappointed that she felt female physicians were incapable of being a good mothers. in my reply i tried to actually discuss her MPH questions, but i couldn't stop myself and the first paragraph was all about how even righteous LDS women could be doctors.

the second came from a conversation with some church friends about women issues.
(aside: my ward has had some feminist fervor lately brought on by a ward activity in which women made food for the men and then auctioned themselves off like cars for the men's choosing. only 4 women went.)
anyway, during this conversation i said something about how sometimes going to church makes me feel worse about myself because i am a woman. and PC - the close friend PC, the "he gives me hope that mormon men can be both progressive/open-minded and dedicated to the church" PC, the admires his very independent mother PC - that PC said "oh, come on, do you ACTUALLY feel like that at church?" in his "you are being extreme and ridiculous" voice. i was shocked. how could he think that i wouldn't feel like that? i feel like i have failed in that friendship somehow.


i think the reason these interactions upset me was because they happened with individual people from whom i expected more awareness. when the ward/church disappoints me, i just tell myself "that is the older generation. things are changing" or "those crazy people. i'm glad i have friends who understand me". perhaps my expectations have been too high. perhaps i am too sensitive to women's issues. either way, i'm left wondering whether i'll ever be at peace with "The Church"

traveling thoughts

i flew to NJ today. as i took the train from Newark down the coast to my grandparent's house, i thought about two things:

1) as soon as i arrive in NJ i am always ruder, more impatient, & more hurried. i think i subconciously feel i HAVE to act this way in NJ in order to relate to the culture here.

2) northern NJ is a trashy crap hole

why bother

i am only taking 3 classes this semester. i decided to make it easy and take two of them pass/fail and one graded (which i would have taken pass/fail if they would have let me. actually, i wouldn't have taken it at all). here are my midterm grades:

Environmental & Occupational Health: 90%
Emerging Infectious Diseases: 102% (?)
Epidemiology Theory: 100%

guess which one is the graded class?

random stuff

i haven't been feeling very blog inspired lately. here are some random things from the past few days:

- Albanian is a weird language. for example:
"U dogj nga qulli, i fryn kosit" - he got burned by the mush, so he blows on his yogurt. (a common phrase supposedly)
Brekushezi - a person wearing black pantaloons
Brenc - a special knife for scraping off burnt crusts of bread
Zhig-scorched residue burned to the bottom of a pot (the food sounds just fabulous)
Shitohet-a verb meaning "to be struck down by mountain or forest fairies" (this, apparently, is a problem in albania)

- also, i miss Boy. particularly last week when i was in TN & he was not

- the concept of interest kinda pisses me off when it applies to me & student loans. when it applies to me & making money on my mutual fund, i am a fan. the difference right now? 6% - not in my favor. freaking crap student loan interest rates. "low rates for students" my ass...

- today i ate several cookies at school. they were all shaped liked penises. they were decorated with words like "herpes" & "crabs". i found this to be hilarious. i am a 12 year old. or perhaps younger.

decatur is the new hollywood

there have been a lot of film crews around decatur lately. one of movies being filmed is "Zombieland", another one is "Halloween 2". as much as i'd love to see my town on the silver screen, both those movies sounds like crap. luckily, ABC filmed a TV pilot on the courthouse steps today. maybe it will be decent...

a conversation i observed between my parents

i think she needs to eat.

she just ate. check her diaper.

i don't do that.

yes you do. just pull back her diaper & look. you don't have to touch it.

i don't see anything.

let me show you how. see, it is soaking wet.

ok, mikeala, grandma is going to change your diaper.

no, grandpa is going to change your diaper.

life with the litter of nieces

i'm in k-town for spring break. when i walked in the door, my little sister said "Oh yay! Take this one" & handed me a baby. i've pretty much been holding one ever since. and, the toddler has pneumonia. so that is awesome.

the babies like to feed every two hours. it is really hard to feed, burp, & change two babies alone so someone is always on "night duty" along with my sister. i get the 10pm-3am shift. right now my mom is on 3am-8am shift, but once she goes back to work, i get the all night shift. fun.

Snow Day

there was a freak snow storm in atl this weekend. any snow in atl is a freak storm i guess. lots of people went out to play in the snow. true to the dynamics of my neighborhood, people weren't content with the typical...

this is how much snow we got - about an inch. my school was delayed & some were canceled. ha ha

some people in my neighborhood went with the standard snow family

my next door neighbors made a pyramid & a sphinx
(also, note how all the other snow was melted in less than 24 hours)

this was my favorite though. so creative!
(also, this is my favorite house in my neighborhood)

i am so smart. S-M-R-T!

my favorite computer is my mac. i also have this crappy old PC that i stole from my little sister to use for school b/c my statistics program only runs on windows. freakin crap microsoft. anyway, i have no idea how to use a PC. a while ago the PC stopped picking up wireless networks. i clicked on some random stuff, gave up, & called The Manorexic. he messed around with it for a few minutes and then said, see this little button in the front that says WLAN?
yeah?
you have it switched to off

i'm awesome.

random things that show up in all TV crime/medical shows eventually

1. conjoined twins
2. lady having a baby
3. disaster of some type (hurricane, train wreck, etc.)
4. infidelity
5. suspected supernatural visitors (ghosts, aliens, etc.)
6. the mafia
7. loved one in trouble

the short end of the stick

i've seen a lot of very small people around atlanta lately. i don't think their numbers are actually growing or that i am more observant. i do think various people have taken to pointing out the diminutive stature of others to me. they shall remain nameless.

1) case one: driving in the car with someone. we stop at a corner. mid-sentence, she stops and says, "Look how little she is!". i look around and see a child on the corner standing with some adults. then i realize she is an adult nurse in her scrubs. how did i miss that? my fellow rider goes into a monologue about how she'd hate to be so small & everyone in her family is at least 5'9"

2) case two: in church. my seatmate leans over & says, "can you imagine being that small?" conversation on the topic of smallness ensues.

3) case three: on iChat. a bubble pops up, "seriously, what would it be like to be that small? where would you shop for clothes?"..."and, you always look younger. it could be hard to get people to take you seriously"...i mention you'd get carded for alcohol at lot too & that would get old.

at the towering height of 5'4" i can only have pity for all those short people...

the slow road to hell

our lesson in relief society this past sunday was on apostasy. much comment was made on how we should never criticize/question our church leaders. i disagree, but rarely find it worth my time to openly disagree with a certain lace-clad girl. so i just read my ensign. having said that...

one of the reasons i disliked church in high school was the mutual hatred between my young women's president and me. i won't go into the details, but she did her best to convince me that i wasn't a very good person. unfortunately i had zero respect for her & took some pleasure in goading her into tirades not so subtly directed at me. she still avoids me when i visit my parents' ward. i think my attachment to the church would have been stronger if i had just skipped young women's my last two years of high school. (i have never met anyone as excited to get the hell out of YW & into RS as i was. i started going the day i graduated from high school - 3 months before turning 18)

the only way i made it through those years with a testimony was to question the things she taught & study them out for myself. it turns out she was wrong on several accounts. so i have no problem questioning or criticizing local leaders (although i try not to be too vocal about my issues). these days, i try respect them & the position they've been placed in, but it ends there. i don't think they are automatically good people that will unfailingly provide appropriate guidance. perhaps a flaxen cord is being wrapped around my neck, but it is better than two more years of bitter doubt & resentment.

i'm obsessed

to quote The Manorexic speaking of emailing out pictures of his nephew, "I just can't stop myself!" seriously though, i had to put up this one. aelish is shielding mikaela's eyes from the sun...or at least thinks she is.

what a good older sister!

babies! babies! babies!

my twin nieces arrived last night! now look at their pictures & tell me how adorable they are! you can tell i'm excited because every sentence ends with an exclamation point!

Robert is thinking "oh, crap, the number of females in my house just doubled"

sleeping in their little beds next to each other

mikaela rowan ligon

caitlin brooke ligon

my open letter

dear armed services,

please stop wasting my tax money on advertising for new recruits. you keep interrupting my online TV watching. also, we all know that if we join, we'll just get sent off to a war. you're not fooling anyone.

you are really annoying,
brooke

the best/most mormon night of my life

It began with a MARTA trip to downtown Atlanta. We didn’t really know which stop to get off at and after we picked one we ended up wandering around for a while, each one following the others like a small pack of lemmings. Eventually we stumbled upon the elusive & surprisingly large Phillips Area. The woman at the ticket booth said our tickets would be $147 for the section our comrades were already in. As we discussed our options, the scalpers who were about 20 feet from the ticket booth kept yelling “Ladies, I’ll give them to you for $10. Or free. You can have them for free!” despite the sign right next to them saying something about fines for scalpers. The ticket lady sensed the competition so she just printed out the tickets, slide them under the glass, and said “Have fun!” After staring at her for a moment of confused disbelief, I grabbed the tickets & we took off. That ticket lady is my hero.

We got to our seats just in time. A lull in the action had led to one of those silly “guess the price” games they play at pro sporting events. When the lady choose to trade in her gifts, she got a diamond ring & a proposal from her boyfriend on the Mega-tron in front of 18,000 hockey fans. I have ALWAYS wanted to see someone propose at a sporting event. Then, a member of our party caught one of those t-shirts shot out of the guns by cheerleaders. I missed that action because I was busy chatting with a couple from Rotterdam. I thought they might know a friend of the family. They didn’t, but I still got to feel cultured.

After the game we ended up setting up a croquet game in Centennial Olympic Park. Some of us were scared they would get a ticket for being in the park after dark, but they stuck it out anyway. The game was surprisingly entertaining & not only because I got to talk about SWPL and mock people. We had to leave when the police indeed showed up & told us we’d probably get shot if we stayed much later. It was okay though, because my team had already basically won.

By now we were getting hungry. Luckily, we happened upon Krispy Kreme where we ran into more policemen. This encounter passed without incident, a bit to my disappointment. Eventually we all reconvened at this guy’s house & played Wii Mario Kart on a projector. I discovered that I may be the world’s worst Mario Kart player in the world. One of the guys there only helped me feel better about myself when he assumed that the person driving straight at the wall for 5 minutes was me (it was not. shocking, i know). I only semi-redeemed myself on Wii Play.

So, marriage proposals, night games, desserts, & games at someone's house...it doesn't get more Mormon than that. And I loved it.

bill gates is my hero

i hate microsoft, but i love bill gates for his humanitarian efforts & how extreme he is about the need to fund health services.

at this year's TED conference, he said, "Malaria is spread by mosquitoes. I brought some here. I'll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected."

then he opened a jar full of mosquitoes & unleashed them on the participants. it would have been better if the mosquitoes had actually been infected with malaria, but at least he made a good point.

peer pressure

people i know (i don't know if i would call them "friends") have suggested i participate in the following things:

• 25 random things on facebook (if you don't know what i'm talking about, you live in a cave...or don't have facebook)
• blogs tags of all kinds (random things, pictures, something called carnivals?)
• those stupid email forwards
  

should i be doing these things? will i not fit in if i don't? will i be a cliche if i do? do my friends expect me to scorn such things when i secretly (ok, not so secretly. hello, i have a blog.) love to talk about myself & think the 25 things on facebook is a perfect excuse? or do my friends really want me to do these things b/c they tagged me?

i just don't know how to navigate this delicate social situation

burt's bees promotes peace & love

a while ago i met a girl in my ward. we've hung out a few times over the past few months. then, on sunday she asked to borrow my chapstick. and i let her. and tonight she let me borrow hers. now i know that we are true friends.

full disclosure

some confessions:

1) i hate jazz. i've tried to like, but it is just boring.

2) i only wear a bike helmet because i'm in public health & i feel like a hypocrite when i don't.

3) i lie to people at least twice a week to get out of talking to them any longer.

4) i rarely eat the crusts on my bread. i usually just pull them off & throw them away.

african love

when i was in Kenya several years ago, i had a little summer love fling with one of the Kenyan guys i lived with there. i didn't take it too seriously, but after i got back to the states i felt a little guilty about it. so when i went to Zambia this past summer i made a personal goal to avoid such foreign entanglements. other than the occasional hugs & kisses from my Latino roommate i managed to avoid the males in general & was pretty proud of myself. (seriously, who really wants to date someone in a city where the HIV prevalence is something like 50% anyway?)

a few weeks ago i got an email from the American missionary that was in my branch there. i was pretty good friends with the elders so i was really happy to hear from him & emailed him back. then today i got another email from him that definitely included romantic notions & talk of the future. even though i was in a class, i starting laughing. i don't think he realizes that he is the same age as my little brother.

to his credit, i'm probably the only white girl he's seen in 1.5 years me, boaz (zambian), Elder WM (texan), Elder really long ethiopian name

solitude

i like my friends. i really do. but i would like them better if they would stop calling me & trying to make me spend time with them.

the winter is long in the city

my last week was crazy. here a few things that happened:

- flew to NYC & back for a conference

- first few days of school with all that entails

- spend all day at the hospital with PC bc he got hit by a car (he'll be fine)

- drove to TN & back to hear Boy speak & say goodbye. he heads to the MTC tomorrow

- had a friend staying at my house bc of tensions at her house

- attended at least 3 social events that i really didn't want to but i gave in to peer pressure

... i'm exhausted.

my four food groups

remember before the food pyramids how there were the four basic food groups? my personal food groups are:

1) herbal tea
2) candy/ice cream
3) vegetarian curry from the indian restaurant down the street
4) cold cereal. specifically, Quaker Oatmeal Squares.

Bookends

a lot of people are doing a retrospect of 2008 on their blogs but that wasn’t the best year for me so instead i thought i’d reminisce about some of my favorite memories from my “blogosphere” friends.

* one time ChurchGirl and i played old school Nintendo together. she was awed by my skills. seriously, you should ask her about how awesome i was.

* one time PC & i went to blockbuster to get a movie. after wandering for about 30 minutes, he lay down on the floor & started moaning. we finally got an Austrian film i had suggested in the 1st five minutes, went home, & watched a dvd my roommate already had

* many times another friend laughed loudly in church. a little late. from the stand. and everyone in the congregation would then laugh as well. it was usually the best part of church.

* one time i was upset so The Manorexic cheered me up by saying in all seriousness that he didn’t have any weaknesses. i think it was the only time i laughed the entire week and i laughed hard. really hard.

* one time Popular Blogging Friend & i watched Arrested Development for hours. it was probably the best night of my life. i will be forever grateful

the problem with my life

i recently realized what is wrong with me.

1) i like to stay up till 2-3am every night
2) i like to get up early (like 7-8am) & be productive in the mornings
3) i really like to sleep & cannot function on less than 8 hours

so basically i’m embroiled in a constant inner war & function in a semi-conscious state most of the time. this obviously impairs my judgments & explains all my crazy/irresponsible/lazy behavior. i think I need a sleep therapist.