polar bears will do just fine

A recent letter to the editor from my home town's newspaper:

Although the polar bear is a symbol of the liberal deception known as global warming, it is perhaps the least plausible symbol. If all the ice in the Arctic were to melt, the polar bears would still survive long enough to find land since they are mostly aquatic. Those few pictures of polar bears sitting alone on ice floes are due to the quick finger of their photographers, because the next second after it was photographed, the bear most likely jumped off into the sea. Their scientific name translates as "bear of water." They are great swimmers, doing most of their hunting by diving into holes in the ice and killing the seals that happen to be swimming under the ice. They sleep on land most of the time, but if a man can sleep by floating on his back, then a polar bear can. You might assume that they couldn't possibly stay in the water for days on end, but as a matter of fact, the bears' black skin is completely covered with white fur except on their noses. Even the soles of its feet are covered in fur.

But, according to most scientists, the world is warming anyway, and that shouldn't be a problem. It turns out that the only thing a polar bear couldn't do in the water is give birth, because they dig tunnels in the snow to warm their newborn cubs. But, I'm sure the bears could make it to land long before their survival came down to the birth of their cubs.

The Arctic melt is not the fault of mankind. The last time Mount Pinatubo, an active volcano in the Philippines, erupted it emitted more than a thousand times the ozone-depleting chemicals than all the fluorocarbons manufactured by corporations in history. This volcano has been doing this for thousands of years - billions according to the old Earth mindset. Global warming is a natural process that can't be stopped or started by humans. It's egotistical to think that mankind, having been here a short time even by old Earth beliefs, could do as much damage as we are blamed for.


The best part: The guy who wrote this editorial is one of the assistant principles at my little sister's high school. I'm sure she's getting a great education....

thanks to Boy for cutting the letter out & showing it to me

recent accomplishments

last summer i had a conversation that made me think about how much i'd progressed as a person in the past few years. after the conversation ended i cried for a while & then sent an email to my mission companion about what a loser i was.

while i was on my mission i had my life figured out. i knew my role (slightly rebellious, but diligent missionary girl) & i was good at it. i usually felt confident and happy. but when i came home from my mission, i felt completely lost and surprisingly insecure. to deal with the lifestyle change & massive separation anxiety i had without a companion, i immediately threw myself back into school, work, & a relationship. i went through this process so quickly that i never figured out who i was or what i wanted to be as an individual. my entire last year at BYU i felt like i was in survival mode, barely scraping by. the last couple months i was in provo things started to stabilize, but i soon left for a transient summer. i had the aforementioned conversation at the end of the summer, a few days before i started grad school. at the time i felt like i hadn't changed since i was 20 & that my hobbies consisted of shopping & watching MTV dating shows.

maybe i needed a change of scenery or a new school, but now that i have been in atlanta for 6 months, i've realized that maybe i am not a total loser after all. and, i've stabilized enough to actually expand my life a bit. here is a list of my progress in the past 6 months:

* i learned how to knit & even though i'm not very good yet, i have grand ambitions
* i started running & hiking (and even the occasional rock climbing) again
* i started playing piano at least twice a week at the church and remembered that piano will always be my first love in hobby-land
* i planted a vegetable garden so i can grow my own produce
* i completely re-made my social circle and have friends ranging from uber-conservative mormons to hippie lesbians to elitist new yorkers, all whom i enjoy spending time with
* i got a student membership at the art museum & actually go to it
* most importantly, i've finally gotten over my psychotic need to always have someone with me and even voluntarily choose to be alone occasionally

and even though i spent an hour watching dating shows on MTV this evening, i finally feel like maybe i've started to grow up.

for a moment you're eyes open

yesterday was rather crappy:
*the train left 4 minutes earlier than scheduled so it took me almost 1.5 hrs to get to school b/c i missed it, thus just missing my bus
*it poured rain all day
*most annoying, i was trapped eating lunch with the TimeSucker (because the guys i'm actually friends with flaked) & remembered the many reasons i dislike him.

but then, as i actually made it home before dark for the 1st time this week, i noticed that all the redbud trees in my apartment complex are in bloom. there's nothing like little pink flowers blooming in February to make a girl feel happier.

you can fake it for a while, bite your tongue & smile...

back to speed dating: whoever invented it was actually fairly smart b/c in only 2 minutes per guy i figured out i have no interest in any mormon guy in atlanta. i saved so much time! actually i really enjoyed chatting with the guys i'm already friends with, which is probably why i am friends with them. unfortunately, i'd never met the majority of the guys there before & most of them were insanely dull:
*sooo, what do you like to do for fun?
i like to hike (really thinking:i like it when you get up & leave)
oh, me too. i love hiking
yeah, do you know any good hikes near atlanta?
ummmmmmm, no
oh (thinking: what an idiot. why didn't i just say, 'you creep me out. lets sit in silence for the next 1.95 minutes')

the last guy i was forced to talk to was by far the worst of the bunch. it was pretty much like speed dating Dwight from the office:
dogs or cats? (no hello, no introduction - this is literally the 1st thing he said to me. i'm sure he thinks he is very creative)
dogs, but i live with a cat. its my roommate's
if you killed it, you could have a dog
ummmm, nevermind, lets just say i hate all animals
books or movies?
it depends
no, you have to pick one (do i really have to, creepy bald man? i don't think so)
fine, movies, but only if they're good
you're awfully non-committal. but i agree, some movies are horrible. like ones from france. And italy.
i took a french & italian film class & loved it. french films are my favorite. (abort! abort! how do we still have 1.5 minutes left?)
[few seconds later]
i'm studying to be a chiropractor at life college (he then went on to bash doctors, pharmaceutical medicine, etc.)
both my parents are physicians & i study public health (meaning: i think you are a complete freak who knows little to nothing about how medicine works)
oh, look, time's up!

there were only 2 guys i found remotely interesting. one was an international broker & we bonded over a mutual love for eastern europe until he told me he wasn't actually in my ward (i suspect he is finishing up a divorce). the other interesting guy was super hot & we talked about music for a while, but once i realized he was still in undergrad i lost interest there as well. Boy tells me i am too picky but (unlike my bishop) i don't think i need to settle just yet.

*these conversations actually happend exactly as recorded

i have excellent news for myself

1. obama won va & md!
2. the writer's strike is over!!
3. the manorexic is coming to visit me in march!!!

has it really come to this?

i went speed dating on monday. what possesssed me to do this? mostly the need to go to costco, which required PC's membership & presence. after costco his car went to FHE & i was still inside it. there was nothing i could do. stupid tasty dried fruit mix....

the beat goes on

last sunday the bishop gave me a new calling. while he had me trapped in his office, he said, "you know, you are going to have to get married eventually". i mumbled some non-committal like "heh, yeah, maybe..." & he dropped it. in retrospect i should have said, "hey, i'm not opposed to it, but have you seen the options in this ward? no thanks for now." this is the 1st time a bishop has informed me that my biological clock is ticking. have i really reached the age where i am so old that i need to start throwing myself at anything with a Y-chromosome in hopes that i can get one to marry me? i don't think so, bishop.

hate to say i told you so

Mitt Romney (or, "Mittens" as a school friend likes to call him) dropped out of the Republican primary today. If you'll notice, my previous post predicted his demise. I'm always right.
Except when it comes to Huckabee - who saw that coming? I am ashamed to say both my home state & the one I currently reside in went to Huckabee. WTF? Just b/c he is 1) Southern and 2) a former preacher does NOT mean he would be a good president. But, that is all the people down here seem to care about. And we wonder why the rest of the country thinks Southerns are stupid...